State of the Union

Jeggings have reached an all time

climax in quality and technology,

which only gives hope

in the world of athleisure

2018 has become.

and perhaps people

will finally come to their senses

and stop wearing those ridiculous

shirts with cutouts on the sleeves,

jesus christ, have some dignity.

Maybe they show off the toned

arms of the people

who drink butter in their coffee

and run the holiday k’s

5k 10k 100k

or care about Tom Brady

because snap chat

or facebook for the fogies like me

helps eliminate the terror

of sending our children to school

with bullies, armed gunmen, microwave burritos

while we sit in traffic,


because bills must be paid

and we should be so happy to have a job

and a brand new corolla

and one of those pink cat beanies

all the white women use to toast,


with their vente lattes or pumpkin spice chai no foam keto sugar free bullshit

feeling all Gloria Steinem,

although evil still reigns the land, the world.

And we elected Joffrey Baratheon and

smile when gas is under five dollars,

because our lives are the same

better for our sniveling children,

who don’t eat their vegetables,

refuse us, refuse their teachers

get anxious when there’s homework

because it’s dog eat dog on the foursquare court

and we need to make sure our piece of this world

is defended

like the cowboys we are.

But without grit, toughness, hard work, resources.

Cowboys knew justice.

They at least knew that if they didn’t work hard enough,

they’d perish. But we’ve stopped telling

that side of the story, especially to our children.

Now, it’s all about what I can gain in SPITE of you,

card-carrying members of the blame game,

all of us, not caring to stop

the wheel of injustice

to give and give and give to others,

like all the greats did, the ones who actually changed things,

and probably didn’t brunch after their once a year protest.

Obama famously said “we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”

Well, I can say, while wearing my jeggings, and looking away in disgust

at those stupid blouses with the cutout shoulders,

that if what Obama said was true,

we should cry into our Starbucks,

because we are the ones

who don’t care enough about anyone,

including ourselves, to tame this wild west

and by acting truly human,

make this world great

if not “again,” then, at least

this once.




7 thoughts on “State of the Union

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